BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because
he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
the chickens on the other side of the road.
SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let’s not talk
about that, let’s talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is
for a middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state
in America with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded
by countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure - right from Day One! -that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about
me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see
the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken…What is your
definition of crossing? or chicken ?
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will
remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going
to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not
been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain…. alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain
truth? That’s why they call it the ‘other side..’ Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other
side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as
simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough!
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
